The Desert Of Ghost Ships

They sail across the dunes, crashing through waves of sand, their tattered sails somehow catching a wind that isn’t there. Their hulls are rotting, or rusted, and if you squint a little, you can see right through them. That’s not from the decay, that’s their ectoplasmic field.

The desert of ghost ships appeared a few years ago.

At first, they just sat on the dunes, lilting to one side, slowly decaying in the sun. No-one knows where they came from. No-one could find out either.

They stood there, unmoving, wisps of sand whipping about their rotting prows. Shredded sails hung limply in the air, the massive propellers on the engined ships rusting into oblivion.

And then, something stirred.

Slowly, tentatively, the desert of ghost ships began to sail.

It was almost imperceptible to begin with. Maybe an inch a day. Maybe it was the dunes moving that moved them. We might have thought that then. But soon they were moving faster, sailing at full pomp, up and down the dunes, tacking and racing one another.

It was quite the spectacle. At first. Helicopters flew around, beaming pictures to the world, and we all watched in silent awe.

And then they swept from the desert, surging through towns and cities like a tsunami, a ghost fleet dragging the desert behind them in their wake.

They didn’t know the damage they were causing. They were frolicking, loving their jaunt around the globe, even as Manhattan turned to dust. They turned the world into their playground, and killed us all in the process.

The desert of ghost ships consumed the planet.

, ,
Buy My Books
  • Proctology: A Bottom Examination
    Proctology: A Bottom Examination

    For a long time now I’ve been wanting to write an old-fashioned programme guide. One you can hold in your hand and thumb through, make notes on, spill coffee on. So I did. Proctology: A Bottom Examination is my deep dive into Bottom, the hit BBC Two sitcom starring Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson. That’s…

Follow
Most Read
  • Re-Casting Keanu
    Re-Casting Keanu

    Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him eight years older than Clive Dunn was when he was first cast in Dad’s Army. But don’t panic, Clive Dunn was always playing much older characters than his own age. Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him seven years older than Stephanie Cole was when she was first…

From The Archive

Sign up for my FREE newsletter